What Gives?

In regards to ever dropping expectations for myself I have decided that I will admit that I'm quite lazy when I don't have to do anything or be responsible for anything!

I'm quite responsible in taking care of my job and any thing I choose to do that make me responsible to others. Then I'm focused, caring, and I want to do the best job possible.

When I'm off duty or home I don't want to do anything the remotely resembles work.

I know in life you have to do things you don't want to but I will choose to recognize that I'd rather stay in read and watch porn. I'd rather reheat than cook. I'd rather sleep than clean. (Really who wouldn't rather sleep than clean? I ask you!)

Given that I live by myself and responsible only for myself I feel that it's ok. I'm currently not endangering anyone's life except my own by boredom and possibly inactivity. I do think about what I should do with my free time. I could be writing, creating something(really creating anything), reading with a mind to educate myself, or learning a new language. Something!

After a full work week I feel the 48 hours that I am not required to do anything I feel I'm entitled to enjoy my porn, eat what I like, and sleep as much as I want!

So why do I feel guilty that I'm not being as productive in my off time as I could be? The problem is when I'm at my paid work, I think about all the things I should have worked on. I should have cleaned my apartment, or I should have done this or that. I should have worked on my story. Blah, blah, blah, i.e. guilt, guilt, guilt, or some other repetitive phrase that can be fit in. So at work I'm thinking about all the stuff I should have done but didn't. I think about all the time I wasted.

So how do I make peace with what I have?

I'm accepting all ideas!